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  • Elias Zeekeh, MBA, CPA, CMA

Escaping the Victim Cycle

The victim mentality has been an ongoing plague on society. It destroys lives and causes suffering not only to the people are directly affected by it, but their friends and family as well. Suffering people inflict suffering upon others, and even the most positive people can fall to the victim mind set from time to time.

It can be argued that the victim mentality has been woven in the fabric of society. The concept that people are responsible for their own actions has become a foreign concept to many. Take for instance the case of Cesar Barbar. This is a high profile case of a Bronx man you filed a lawsuit against several fast food restaurants as the cause of his obesity and two heart attacks, or the current political debate on whether gun manufacturers should be held accountable for the actions of gun users. Throughout the public debate of these issues individual accountability has become a murky concept, and to some extent media has been an influential factor.

Three signs you’re in the victim mentality:

  1. Feeling captive to the situation.

  2. Discussions focus more on what you can’t do rather than what you can.

  3. Habit of not confronting tough issues in your life.

Getting one out of the victim cycle starts with having courage to realize you’re actually stuck in it. To avoid cognitive dissonance it’s easier to ignore the signs, even though it’s blatantly evident to the people around you. Once you acknowledge your psychological condition you also need to have the heart or the will to take action. Take the time to articulate in detail why “you must” change, and why it will devastate your life and those around you if you don’t. Put this list in a place where you can read it each and every day, and this provide you with the conviction required to push forward. Through the process of breaking the victim cycle you’ll be re-writing your personal narrative and the enhanced sense of control in your life will be a great boost to your self-esteem in all aspects of your life.

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